I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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