i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
