I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
