did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
