I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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