so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
