Please, let me fuck your mom
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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