I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
