I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
