So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
