I wish I only lived at night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
