just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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