i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
