You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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