god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
