He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He felt like a one man threesome
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
