i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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