Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
