I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
