So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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