A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
