hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
