from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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