Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
