Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
