Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
