So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize