I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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