Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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