Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
