Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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