I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
