'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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