yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
