i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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