I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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