Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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