NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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