so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This baby is an asshole
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
