Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
