"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
