is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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