farters have to be the big spoon...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
