He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
