he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
