is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
