You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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