Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
