oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he told me I talked like a deaf person
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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