Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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