Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
