Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
